I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
