i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Im part way to drunk.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...