All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm fucking your sister right now.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.