careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Dating After Heartbreak
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat