can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
