I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
