did you get engaged???
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
