Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
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three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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