he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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