i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
