evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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