This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
