when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
We're too hungover to prance.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
