I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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