sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I love having hate sex.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
