I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
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Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
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It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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