4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
