Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
