My brain says no but my pants say off.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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