I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We're too hungover to prance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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