how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
i out mim tonsoeep
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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