Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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