In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She even gives head with a lisp.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
