This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Randomize