I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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