Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
