We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just googled if crying burns calories
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
