Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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