i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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