I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
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i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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