I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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