highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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