glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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