I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize