Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
