i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
