I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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