WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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