office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
