I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
