Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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