mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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