"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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