I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
