Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
