Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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