My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize