hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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