Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
