just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
