you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
