apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
