please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
