:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
