An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
