ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
