Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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